9 Things About Marriage To Get Straight From The Start

Having a great marriage from day one means respecting your spouse in these nine ways and more. You can't avoid some problems, but you can try to avoid dealing with them poorly.

As your wedding date comes and goes, you will be presented with lots of guidance, some better than other ones. But if you keep these nine things under consideration, your marriage will go right from the start and you can avoid some common problems that many face in the initial few years of their married life:

1. Respect the rituals. That includes the custom of an engagement band and wedding ring as well as other jewellery pieces for special occasions throughout a marriage. And of course, you may as well buy into Valentine's Day. All of your friends have. 
2. Don't rush into having kids. Start to know one another better and enjoy being a pair before you change the dynamic by adding kids. Once the children arrive, the focus is off your relationship and onto them. 
3. Avoid debt if you can. Debt is a yoke that may weigh down your life, so don't take it on if you can avoid it. You will have to take on loans for a home or car, but that new television or patio enlargement can wait until you've got sufficient funds in hand. 
4. Do not have unrealistic expectations. Marriage involves some tough times, and it doesn't solve the problems you already have individually or as a couple. Deal with issues as well as you can, and understand that some of them will never go completely. 
5. Don't build up resentment. You may have heard that you shouldn't go to bed being angry but you also should not head off to bed with bitterness issues that you haven't addressed. If your spouse's way of living, career or ethics are troubling you, have the debate now rather than later on. 
6. Respect your spouse's feelings. We don't all react in the same way so you can never predict your spouse's reactions with certainty. Let go of judgments and attachments to outcomes and accept that your partner will confront every issue in their own time and in their own special way. 
7. Make calls together. It's alright to get a bad tire fixed without your partner's authorization, but you cannot just decide to take a week off or go visit your parent's without consulting your partner. You share a life now, so make calls as a single unit when possible. 
8. Put up with quirks. Your partner may insist on counting the pieces of potato on the dinner plate or lining up peas in a row, and that is fine. Everyone has quirks. Tolerate them, accept them and learn to see them as adorable. There's nothing that you can do about them anyhow. 
9. Give some space when necessary. Everybody needs some down time, even married people. So when your spouse gets reflective or quiet, find something handy to do on your own. Whether that is seeing a movie by yourself or going into the spare bedroom for an hour, you'll enjoy the time as well.